The Venus Patrol Training Facility

Old Market Square, 20th-27th, 10am-5pm

Bouncing on trampolines, scaling a mountain, pretending you’re a frog, honing your sumo skills, pushing random strangers. If we had to pick our favourite thing about this event, it’d be that it lets us do about 50% of our bucket list in one hit.

Yes, the Venus Patrol Training Facility, brought to you by videogame culture site Venus Patrol, founded by Brandon Boyer, will bring your wildest dreams to life as you sign up for the most awe inspiring marriage of physical and mental exertion. Well, it’s not too physical. I mean, you’ll have to jump a bit, but the trampoline does most of the work. And then there’s pushing people, but again, that’s just working with rather than against gravity…’ll be fine, really.

All aspects of the Venus Patrol Training Facility will be available from 10am-5pm EVERY DAY (20-27th Oct) on the Old Market Square and played on a 13sqm screen, so everyone can see your preparation and ultimate victory. The challenges (games) you’ll be facing are…

Get On Top

A re-imagining of ancient Finnish freeware Fight of the Sumo-Hoppers, Get On Top is Bennett Foddy’s extremely serious Sumo Wrestling sim that sees each player positioned on a real-life trampoline. A Move controller tracks your motion, with every bounce corresponding to a small kick of your wrestler’s feet, with the end game of pinning the other guy to the ground. How does it work? DOES IT WORK AT ALL? Come find out.

Proteus Frog God Mod

With Proteus, Ed Key created a game that allowed anybody, from gamers to grandparents, to explore a magical wonderland. This is its biggest failing. The Proteus Frog God Mod presents Proteus as it should be, or, perhaps, must be. With a trampoline and a Sony Move controller you will physically hop around Key’s incandescent world, and in doing so you will embody mankind’s eternal torment at the brawny hands of gravity. You will become Nauseous, and in becoming Nauseous, you will become Perfect.

Passing Time

The Venus Patrol Training Facility is the ultimate test of body and soul. Football is, of course, the other ultimate test of body and soul. Science teaches us that two maximums make a negatory, and so it is that Passing Time is a football game with a minimum of interaction. Simply tap the screen to order your footballmen to pass, shoot and tackle.

Pole Riders

“What if pole vaulters had fights?” That is the very important question asked by Pole Riders, a game of trying to nudge a ball into your opponent’s goal with a 15 foot pole. But that’s not all. Pole Riders also acts as an exploration of what a pain it is to do anything with a 15 foot pole, whether you’re performing actual pole vaults or just walking forward.

-The classic version of Pole Riders can be found at

Johann Sebastian Joust

Inarguably a future Olympic sport, Johann Sebastian Joust is a game for any number of players, each of whom is given a Move controller. It doesn’t need a screen. It doesn’t even need any light. The only rules? Move your controller too fast and you’re out, and the last person standing wins. Now, don’t worry if you’re imagining this game encourages terrible physical violence, or cheap tricks like hiding your controller in your coat and pretending you’re not playing. Because it does. It does. And it’s beautiful.


Success at Ramiro Corbetta’s distressingly fast indie eSport Hokra requires workmanlike fingers if you want to win this game, where the first rule is that there are no rules. The second rule is that you have to put the ball in your team’s goal to win.


A side scrolling, 8-bit abstract fusion of fighting and sports, BaraBariBall is everything you could ask for in competitive gaming. The object is simple; using your character, drop the ball in the water on your half of the screen. But with the ability to air jump to your heart’s content and stun slap your rival to gain control of the objective, the only question is how long your beliefs in sportsmanship last.


GIRP is a game of climbing a wall but climbing haphazardly across your keyboard with your fingers. It’s amazing, and legendarily hard. MegaGIRP is the same. It’s the same. It’s fine. You’ll be fine. The only difference is – and it’s a tiny one – is that the “keyboard” is a huge modified dancemat you’ll have to pick your way across with a spider’s own alien grace. But we believe in you. You can do this.

-The classic version of GIRP can be found at

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